Over the weekend my phone and Instagram app got disabled, it was a moment of sheer shock as well as complete disbelief. My existence was no longer there… Poof, who was I. I then found myself in an interesting predicament, here I was with a holiday looming with nowhere to post and no one to look at and in all honesty, I was fine with it. I had just found myself in the ultimate holiday circumstance, detached from the rest of the world on my own island. Initial shock subsided and now the wonderment of how well I took to being detached from social media set in.
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I had been a person who worked in various technological industries cultivating a social experience for different brands of lifestyle, clothing, art, and everything in between. With my constant engagement with technology and social media I was always in the loop of what was relevant, but for me it was the fact that I was now shattered from having to perform an experience, which felt liberating. It was like I had finally been given a pass and allowed to press the restart button. Without social media I was finding myself free of having to deal with the societal pressures that came with interacting and submitting to these practices. All the various social nuances which I had constantly feared and interacted with were gone, those people I didn’t really want to follow but continue to out of social graces, the various cool kids that I had to pay attention to had disappeared.
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By the first morning of being liberated I found myself waking up to a grayscale, everything around me felt like I could see for the first time in a long time. I was given a pair of glasses that showed me textures and a truly great experience in which I was present to engage with the objects and people around me. I almost felt as if I was regaining consciousness, regaining an understanding of humanity. As I engaged with people I would see getting coffee or walking by with their pets my nerves felt raw of all these senses which had been robbed.
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By day 3 fully knowing the reality of having to slip back into the way the world works. I decided there that I would start a new account, one that was going to be on my own terms and did not contain a feed of toxic images or ideologies that would stifle the mental wellbeing that I was striving for. I wanted to not be bothered triggered and place into a position of losing this feeling of self-worth. My decision was to engage digitally as I would IRL, people I already speak to and people I would interact with would come and as they did so grew my interpersonal social media. The data dump was the only thing that mattered and I threw out the aesthetic dialog, I was on private.
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I know fully well that this was a fleeting experience, that I would have to return to speaking to the world of my community but in the meantime I was finally able to let go, it was a freedom that was unexpected and an experience which brought back a sense of humanity. My deep sense of anxiety seem to be lifted from my head my crown felt lighter I’ve had no longer had to disengage with what it meant to live in modern society. My nights drifted off at a normal tense while my mornings felt rich and fulfilled. Knowing I was able to separate from the machine gave me enough insight to use it wisely.
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